walkingheroin | ~entranceway ic inbox~

Very well.

[He already feels uncomfortable. He never feels this way and it's very disorienting.]

Yes, I suppose it was. It's also not something I'm particularly proud of. You didn't tell anyone, did you?

[ Welp. He is definitely going to kill her. But she's not going to lie with him, even if she has to deal with a pissed off devil. ]

I may have told Elena. It's okay. She's not going to judge you. I think she was actually kind of proud of you. You've come a long way.

[Luckily for Chloe, Elena is probably the ONLY person in Wonderland who she could tell and he wouldn't be...something other than okay with it.

Elena's already seen him wearing plenty of strange emotions by this point.]

I suppose I'm not surprised in that regard. I'm not sure what I'm supposed to say about it, however. It was quite uncomfortable, at best.

It was very human. There's nothing wrong with that.

[ It's weird to think that. For so long, Chloe defended things not working out between them because he was so out of touch, so distant. He wanted to party, get drunk, have sex with anything that moved. Chloe isn't like that, and that made it easier to put that distance between them.

But Lucifer isn't like that anymore, either. Now that she knows what's held him back, it makes it harder for her to judge him for it. Not when she knows how far he's come in the time he left their world. ]

Let's come back to that then. About what happened at home [ She pauses as she types, taking a breath, pushing through. ] I shouldn't have said it was a mistake. That was really unfair of me. It's not your fault you didn't know.

[He's not sure what that means, but it's hard to try and snuff out the hope that brightens his insides.]

Does that mean it wasn't a mistake or you shouldn't have told me how you really felt about it?

You're not going to offend me, Detective. Seeing as I don't remember it, it wasn't necessarily me at all, now was it?

[ She reads his response thoughtfully, probably interpreting it in a way he doesn't mean. To her, he's saying that he wouldn't have made the same choices at home, wouldn't have told her the same things, wouldn't have opened those doors.

He wasn't the same person here as he was there and he didn't feel that way about her. ]

It means I don't regret it. That it happened or that I told you. You're a really good person. But like you said it wasn't really you.

[ Elena tried her tell her otherwise, but Chloe can't really wrap her mind around it. He isn't her Lucifer, not the one she was with, anyway, and it's something she needs to accept. That also means, though, that Chloe needs to stop punishing him for it. ]

[She's always so far off the mark, and he's too big of an idiot to realize it or tell her otherwise.

His conversations with Elena and Klaus play in his head, and he isn't sure what to do.]

Well, whatever it was that made me want to leave isn't present here, clearly, so that's certainly different. Not to mention the fact that I don't think there's anything on Earth that would cause me to leave Lux permanently.

It's all very curious.

[ That admission doesn't help matters. Of course he would have no reason to leave Lux. ]

It helps that there isn't any way to leave here. But I would never want to be the reason you would want to leave your home.

[ That's what it comes down to, though, isn't it? Whatever reason he did leave had to do with her, whether because her nearly dying had upset him that much, or because he didn't feel for her the way she thought he did, or because of her power over him. Whatever reason it was, it would be the same reason again if they ever try to go that route. She's sure of it. ]

That's not what I'm saying, Detective. I'm saying that if I left, I'll likely come back. I've pondered it over and over since you made me aware of what happened and I still can't come up with a reason as to why I would do that.

[He probably shouldn't ask, but this is Lucifer, so he does it anyway.]

Are you in love with him?

[Yes, Chloe. He's asking you if you're in love with Seth. This is fine.]

Edited 2017-08-28 23:44 (UTC)

[ She's in the middle of forming a response to his first text when he drops THAT bomb and well. Chloe sets down her phone and covers her face with her hands, taking a few long, deep breaths.

It's the first time she starts to wonder if she got this all wrong. ]

I care about him. It doesn't mean I care about you any less.

[ Which means, no. Not yet, anyway. ]

I'm well aware. No need to worry about that.

I just want to make sure you're happy.

[He would be lying if he said he wasn't smiling at the news that she isn't actually in love with Mr. Gecko. But it doesn't make the latter untrue.]

[ This does not go where she is expecting.

Why is he not making this about him, like he does everything else? What worries her most is that this is the Lucifer she remembers. The one who started to understand how to put other people first. Every time she comes up with an excuse as to why he's nothing like the Lucifer she fell for, he proves her wrong all over again. ]

I am happy.

[ She chooses the words carefully. She could have said he makes her happy, but Seth is just part of it. Part of the family she has started to build for herself there, part of the people who have rallied around her regardless of her mistakes. Lucifer is an integral part of that family and the only way she can truly be happy is knowing he isn't going anywhere. ]

You guys were friends before I got here. I hope that us being together doesn't change that.

[If he throws a giant wrench in the works, she may not be happy anymore.

He can't have that.]

We were acquaintances if anything. [He takes the status of 'friend' very seriously.] Do let him know that if he does anything to hurt you, I will kill him.

[ She certainly wouldn't be happy with him, at least.

There are better ways to win her back, though. Things like this. ]

You should rethink that. Having friends suits you, Lucifer. [ She's been surprised and impressed by the friendships he has forged here. It's just more proof of how far he has come. ] I would like for you to be friends. I could live without a replay of Detective Douche. And I appreciate the sentiment but I'll be okay. I don't always need you to rescue me.

[ Little does he know, Seth had been pushing her towards Lucifer just as much as anyone else before they got together. ]

Very well. I shall attempt to be on my best behavior.

[For her. Notice he didn't make any actual promises, however.

After all, he doesn't like to lie. :)]

[ She sees RIGHT through that, Lucifer, but he's trying and sometimes it really is the thought that counts. ]

Good enough for me. [ Lucifer's best behavior is usually bottom tier for what Chloe expects but he's been better lately, and she'll take it. ]

All of that aside. Are you okay? Until we talked I guess I didn't realize how hard being here is for you. [ At least, when it came to her dying, anyway. His response had still surprised her; he has seen so much death, he was the Devil. She still doesn't really understand why her death affected him the way that it did. Even though it should be obvious. ]

I guess I didn't really either. The whole thing was somewhat unexpected for me.

Edited 2017-08-30 20:56 (UTC)

Do you want to talk about it?

It doesn't have to be over text. Maybe we could meet up and try that lunch date again?

[ That's her way of saying she misses him. She wants to see him. Her life isn't the same without seeing him every day. It just doesn't feel right. ]

Edited 2017-09-05 05:06 (UTC)

[He doesn't want to talk about it, but he does want to see her.

He always wants to see her.]

I'd like that, actually.

[ She smiles subconsciously. For as much as she enjoys Seth's company, she's been halfway miserable since their argument. Lucifer is so much more than her only connection to home; he's her friend, really and truly, in ways that she didn't even realize until she landed in this God-awful place. ]

Tomorrow?

Tomorrow.

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